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Some memories are best forgotten...

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Jul. 11th, 2006 @ 05:35 pm
i can't say i don't think about it everyday, and i can't say it's not going to be the biggest regret ever. i can't say much about it at all to be truthful.

then again there are other things that i have to think about without trying to think about them. i wish i could just read and dissolve away from all things realistic and vicariously live through the characters in novels, their lives seemingly more interesting and all the more resolveable than my own. resolveable? is that the right word or even a slight spelling of something realistic? who knows

i think i have permanent water in my ears, probably from having spent the better part of three days submerged in cholorine. i suppose i am tired, and we should really get to bed early if we ever get to aunt cindy's house and then again, get home. tom is in the shower and i hate almost three year olds with no rules or limits who drive me insane, and though i know better, i believe it to be on purpose. i would love nothing more than a starbucks mocha light frappuccino- my summertime addiction- but i don't know the feasability of that desire in the effort to save money.

i don't like this living situation one bit, and allison is lying acting all angelic, code name driving me crazy for those playing the home game. i'd like to go to the batting cages i think and maybe some fun minigolf, but again, saving money and not getting struck by lightning are all more appeasing thoughts than the alternative, don't you think.

i'm trying to be in a better mood and deciding what to do with school this semester and find a job and look for an engagement ring without being too obvious.

i really have a complete distaste for everyone in this house right now. gah. it's starbucks or lose my mind, and i think even in the mindset of saving money i'm getting one. if i can last that long, that is.

people are mildly retarded.

get your own house, pot. you're black, says the kettle.

May. 20th, 2006 @ 09:50 pm
ok so i;m wayb drunk and wondering if i will remember this in the morning. the prognosis is no, though i am conscious enough of my own mistakes. i want my boyfriend to come up here and make love to me, and my uncle not to go home. I'm tired. but afraid of asleep because of a headaching hangover. i drank alot and am afraid of my boyfriend who loves me being with my sister. i'm tires and i want to make love to him and here he is. i love and am in lo0ve and want him. xoxox

Apr. 11th, 2006 @ 08:08 am
wow...

haven't been here in a while...

but since I have deleted the dreaded myspace account upon my beloved's request, I decided to write here instead. he said that it was like unlocking the past, and he was afraid i would figure out i missed something from it. i guess he's got a point. there is no need to go anywhere near back to that place.

so yes, my birthday.

tom took me to a spa... completely indulgent and utterly spectacular. yay him, he done good. hehe

but now it's 814 and i haven't showered yet.
yips

you can take the girl out of hicksville... Dec. 19th, 2005 @ 07:57 pm
It's christmas week, so I've of course become riddled with a cold. i blame tom totally. I don't get sick from the children, and thus have a very strong immune system. maybe it's not tom. maybe it's all the derranged lunatoonies that come from the depths of the seventh circle of hell in order to bother me at target. yes, in fact, i am quite certain it they who are to blame.

sniffle and cough.

Nov. 22nd, 2005 @ 11:34 pm
I am so grateful to be where i am today.


love.
Other entries
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so i feel the need to comment about something i have recently become rather facinated with, although i remain quite positive that it ruins life...

myspace. myspace ruins lives. and yet, because i find myself stalking my employees, i have begun drowning in this web of interconnection. so odd. so weird.

it makes me glad that livejournal is now "out" so no one will really bother with the mundane details of my little uplifting existance.

sometimes i miss bands and tattoos and drinking and binging and not eating.


...and then i kiss tom.

and i remember why i like saving for a house and planning my wedding and dreaming of what is to be and growing up. so deeply into love have i fallen.

i'm getting married to this man. without a second thought. i will never regret not making love to anyone else. i will never if there is anyone better out there for me. i will never dispute that he and i are complete only together.


. on that note. i am going to make cookies. and eat them. and drink only milk. and clean my kitchen. and look for kitchen appliances. and make some lists for tomorrow. and wonder what i am going to cook for dinner and do laundry and be all domestic.

<3
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I'm sleepy, and both excited and saddened that i'm in it all alone...

but i will take advantage of the fact since i can't change it
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crikey i feel gross.
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tom asked me to move in with him
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i keep coming to my journal hoping that maybe i would have updated at some point when i didn't remember. alas, i have not. it's 736, and i really need to be in the shower since i've finished my coffee and checked the latest deals on passwird. oh well, there's always the silverjewelryclub. hehe.

not too much is different, really. megan's weddings were this weekend and the overall outlook was a good one. i was very stressed and cranky for the hindu wedding on friday, but i did look kind of cool in my sari and the jewel on my forehead. i was sent to bed early due to mood swings, though i was eventually forgiven and spooned with. saturday went off without a hitch, and the weather was impeccable. we got to the garrison in time for a perfect sunset and then had the best party ever. for the first time, i was sad to see a wedding come to an end. concluding with a sex marathon seemed only fitting.

so that's that. i'm still in love, and so is he, and it makes me cry sometimes but now he's seen that part. the song :the luckiest: by ben folds would perfectly encapsilate it i think. christmas is coming and i don't know what to get jaclyn, or tom for that matter. it's time to start shopping. yikes and yay! all at the same time.

so now the shower is calling me, and i can't be late, not even a moment for coffe, so i have to go.
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